Saturday, June 4, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Reading, reading and more reading!
The internet has LOTS and LOTS of adoption stories, advice, information, blogs, pictures and much more. Some of it is inspiring and some of it is frustrating. But at the end everyone says it is worth it and you forget all about how long you waited.
I have found myself passing by the children's clothes when I am at target or Old Navy or looking on-line at baby furniture. It is so weird. I know I probably shouldn't do that yet but it is okay to look, right?
I went to a former students high school graduation party. What a sweet and talented girl. I am so glad she invited me to her party. I also had her older sister in elementary school and she was there with her newborn. I was lucky enough to be able to hold her while I was there. So sweet! Thanks Megan! :)
Earlier today I was sitting in my comfy chair and one of my furbbies was laying on the back of the chair with her head on my head. My other furbaby was laying next to me int he chair and I imagined a baby laying in my lap!AWE, what bliss! This has been a bit of a rambled blog tonight so I guess I will go. :}
I hope everyone has a good Memorial weekend! Stay safe and have FUN!
I have found myself passing by the children's clothes when I am at target or Old Navy or looking on-line at baby furniture. It is so weird. I know I probably shouldn't do that yet but it is okay to look, right?
I went to a former students high school graduation party. What a sweet and talented girl. I am so glad she invited me to her party. I also had her older sister in elementary school and she was there with her newborn. I was lucky enough to be able to hold her while I was there. So sweet! Thanks Megan! :)
Earlier today I was sitting in my comfy chair and one of my furbbies was laying on the back of the chair with her head on my head. My other furbaby was laying next to me int he chair and I imagined a baby laying in my lap!AWE, what bliss! This has been a bit of a rambled blog tonight so I guess I will go. :}
I hope everyone has a good Memorial weekend! Stay safe and have FUN!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
newborns
There is something so sweet about newborn babies and puppies and birds. They are so innocent and fresh and soft.
I saw a couple newborns today at the hospital when I was staying with a friend who was on the same floor. Seeing those babies brought up lots of different emotions. So excited about the thought of being a mom. But also sad about the realization that I won't have the experience of birthing a child. Seeing my baby take its first breath. I am lucky to have seen a couple of my nephews being born. It is breathtaking! It is truly a miracle of God!
As excited as I am about having my child through adoption I know I am still grieving not birthing one. As a good friend tells me "It just plain sucks" I don't need to feel bad about it when I need to grieve it.
As for my adoption process I have been registered for my PS-MAPP course. 3hr classes for 10 weeks starting June 7th. In Kansas everyone who adopts or becomes a foster parent must take this course.
I hear they focus on worse case scenarios when discussing Foster children. I think all parents should have to take this course. Unfortunately there is no way to make that happen.
Anyway, I'm so excited to begin this class. One day closer to becoming a mom.
I saw a couple newborns today at the hospital when I was staying with a friend who was on the same floor. Seeing those babies brought up lots of different emotions. So excited about the thought of being a mom. But also sad about the realization that I won't have the experience of birthing a child. Seeing my baby take its first breath. I am lucky to have seen a couple of my nephews being born. It is breathtaking! It is truly a miracle of God!
As excited as I am about having my child through adoption I know I am still grieving not birthing one. As a good friend tells me "It just plain sucks" I don't need to feel bad about it when I need to grieve it.
As for my adoption process I have been registered for my PS-MAPP course. 3hr classes for 10 weeks starting June 7th. In Kansas everyone who adopts or becomes a foster parent must take this course.
I hear they focus on worse case scenarios when discussing Foster children. I think all parents should have to take this course. Unfortunately there is no way to make that happen.
Anyway, I'm so excited to begin this class. One day closer to becoming a mom.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Adoption (Just breathe)
Since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mom! My favorite thing to do was play with my baby dolls. I had boy baby dolls and girl baby dolls. Dolls that ate food and dolls that wore diapers. I also had a "toddler" baby doll. I remember in third grade I used to pretend my baby and the babysitter would come to school and watch me from the hallway while I "worked."
I eventually moved from playing with baby dolls to babysitting and eventually working at a daycare and now a teacher. I have been around babies all my life. I love my niece and four nephews and was able to watch some of their births. It was incredible!
I have watched my friends have babies and have been blessed to be part of their lives. I have learned so much about being a mom from my friends, sisters and my own mom. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!
As I have watched all these amazing people have children I kept thinking my time was coming. I was going to find the right man for me. I was going to be blessed with children. Everyone kept telling me I had plenty of time. Then one day, no one was saying that to me anymore. My time was up (or so that is how I felt). How did I become close to 40? 40! Seriously? "Oh that's not old" people say to me. Maybe to you it isn't old because you are marrie and or have the beautiful kids you dreamed about. It is different when you're 40 and those dreams have not come true.
So enough of my story for now. But what I do want to say is I am in the early stages of the adoption process. This blog will be mostly dedicated to this process.
Why would I want to blog about this? Well, I want to share my experience because for me it is therapeutic. I am hoping others that are going though this will read this and we can share informtion and stories and advice. I also am single and so I have additional hurdles to jump.
Now that have written a book I will close for today or I will have only on LOOOONG post.
Thanks for stopping by!
I eventually moved from playing with baby dolls to babysitting and eventually working at a daycare and now a teacher. I have been around babies all my life. I love my niece and four nephews and was able to watch some of their births. It was incredible!
I have watched my friends have babies and have been blessed to be part of their lives. I have learned so much about being a mom from my friends, sisters and my own mom. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!
As I have watched all these amazing people have children I kept thinking my time was coming. I was going to find the right man for me. I was going to be blessed with children. Everyone kept telling me I had plenty of time. Then one day, no one was saying that to me anymore. My time was up (or so that is how I felt). How did I become close to 40? 40! Seriously? "Oh that's not old" people say to me. Maybe to you it isn't old because you are marrie and or have the beautiful kids you dreamed about. It is different when you're 40 and those dreams have not come true.
So enough of my story for now. But what I do want to say is I am in the early stages of the adoption process. This blog will be mostly dedicated to this process.
Why would I want to blog about this? Well, I want to share my experience because for me it is therapeutic. I am hoping others that are going though this will read this and we can share informtion and stories and advice. I also am single and so I have additional hurdles to jump.
Now that have written a book I will close for today or I will have only on LOOOONG post.
Thanks for stopping by!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Weekly Five Countdown
I just got this idea from a blog called Bookish Penguin. She calls hers Monday Five Countdown.
Five things I'm grateful for
1. My dogs- they bring me so much joy.
2. My friends - they are there for me whenever I need them
3. Christmas is this weekend and I get to spend all of Christmas Eve at church. No better place to be.
4. That I am finished with my shopping except for one gift card.
5. That I am off work for 2 weeks
Four Things I Can't Stop Thinking About
1. The things I am going to do this week
2. Finding peace in my life.
3. Organizing my "things" and getting rid of a lot of "things"
4. Marriage and babies
Three Things I Want To Accomplish This Week
1. Finishing my shopping
2. Clean
3. relax
Two Things I Am Working To Be Positive About
1. My family dynamics
2. My self
One Random Thing
1.
My garage door is driving me crazy. It will not stay down. I must call my landlord.
Read more: http://www.bookishpenguin.com/blog/2010/11/15/monday-five-countdown-now-with-participation.html#ixzz18oDx4yHB
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Five things I'm grateful for
1. My dogs- they bring me so much joy.
2. My friends - they are there for me whenever I need them
3. Christmas is this weekend and I get to spend all of Christmas Eve at church. No better place to be.
4. That I am finished with my shopping except for one gift card.
5. That I am off work for 2 weeks
Four Things I Can't Stop Thinking About
1. The things I am going to do this week
2. Finding peace in my life.
3. Organizing my "things" and getting rid of a lot of "things"
4. Marriage and babies
Three Things I Want To Accomplish This Week
1. Finishing my shopping
2. Clean
3. relax
Two Things I Am Working To Be Positive About
1. My family dynamics
2. My self
One Random Thing
1.
My garage door is driving me crazy. It will not stay down. I must call my landlord.
Read more: http://www.bookishpenguin.com/blog/2010/11/15/monday-five-countdown-now-with-participation.html#ixzz18oDx4yHB
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Saturday, November 27, 2010
One of these days
One day I hope to find peace with myself and my life. I hope to love me for me. The Tim McGraw lyrics say it all.
Now everybody stands up
The congregation sings
It's a song of sweet forgiveness
And as the chorus rings
The wind blows clear my memory
The pages start to turn
And suddenly I'm singing
The moment that I learn
One of these days I'm gonna love me
And feel the joy of sweet release
One of these days I'll rise above me
And at last I'll find some peace
And then I'm gonna smile a little
And maybe even laugh a little
But one of these days...
I'm gonna love me
Now everybody stands up
The congregation sings
It's a song of sweet forgiveness
And as the chorus rings
The wind blows clear my memory
The pages start to turn
And suddenly I'm singing
The moment that I learn
One of these days I'm gonna love me
And feel the joy of sweet release
One of these days I'll rise above me
And at last I'll find some peace
And then I'm gonna smile a little
And maybe even laugh a little
But one of these days...
I'm gonna love me
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Why?
Why? Why do I do these things to myself? Why do I ask about things I don't really want to know about?
When my mom is doing things or is with people I don't want to know about, I ask anyway.
The recent is asking about a friends daughter who is pregnant. I want to know she is feeling good. But then hearing all about he pregnancy and dute date etc and feeling her belly ...makes me cry. I am jealous, there I said it......
Why can't I just get over these things?
Blog update
When my mom is doing things or is with people I don't want to know about, I ask anyway.
The recent is asking about a friends daughter who is pregnant. I want to know she is feeling good. But then hearing all about he pregnancy and dute date etc and feeling her belly ...makes me cry. I am jealous, there I said it......
Why can't I just get over these things?
Blog update
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