Friday, June 10, 2011


Webster's New World Dictionary:
"Unquestioning belief that does not require proof or evidence"

BIBLE DEFINITION:(taken from Taking God at His word. Paul says in Romans 10:17 Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. It is full confidence in God's word. FAITH accepts God's word (His promises and His warnings) as FACT and acts accordingly. Since there are many evidences that the word of God is true, this is not a blind leap of faith. It is rather an intelligent, holy reaction to the wondrous words of God.

Faith is something I struggle with. I think everyone struggles with it from time to time. Along with faith comes trust. You got it, I struggle with that too. Trust is a big one for me on many levels. "Trust" is my word this year. I read on another blog about focusing on a word for a year. So I have been focusing on trust through different excercises(I won't go into that now).

I have such a peace about adopting! This is where faith and trust come in. I need to have faith that it truly is right. I have had this feeling before about other things and they have happened. But I am always scared to trust the feeling. Then when the positive feeling comes true I tell myself to trust the feeling next time it happens. And yet....

Does this peace mean I have no worries? I wish!! What I am going to try to do is put those positive vibes out there. Put out what I want in this adoption and have faith in God. Faith that what is in my heart is what he has placed there and it is going to happen how I feel it is going to happen. I am going to TRUST this is Him taking control(As I write this that stupid little voice is saying don't trust it. You are going to get hurt). It's a work in progress!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

My first class

I had my first MAPP class tonight. It was an interesting, informational filled evening. Lots of different types of peope are taking the class. Couples, singles, younger, older, black, white, quiet, talkative. Some are looking to adopt, some to foster and some are not yet sure.

I found myself becoming emotional as I sat there and listened and participated. I wasn't really sure where the emotion was coming from or really what I was actually feeling. I think part of my emotion is that I am actually doing this and it weirdly feels so right. I have thought about this for years and never did anything about it. But then one day I just did it and I haven't looked back (yet).

The other part of my emotion is that I still wish I had gotten married and had children biologically. But as a good friend told me "We can't turn back time. We can only move forward." And that is true and I need to stop thinking, "What if?" And hopefully my knight and shining armor will still come and whisk me and my child away!

I know God has a plan. I have not always agreed with His plan for me (if indeed I am actually following it). But I know this one is going to be good! When I talk to people about what I am doing I always talk about my support system. And what a wonderful support system I have! Thank you faithful friends!

So, as I go through this process of being certified through the state and also looking independently for my child I keep praying. (I am sure that was a run-on sentence. I do not claim to be good at that stuff)I also keep hoping and wishing and asking and listening and having faith! God has my child in mind, that I am sure!

Until next time.......
PS: I was looking at baby names the other day. This is just in case I get to have a newborn. :)