Like most people, I like parties. Parties are usually celebrations of happy occassions. The last couple days I have been thinking about having a party! I kinda want to have the party but I know it isn't a good idea so I have put it off. This party only includes one guest......me! Yes, I am talking about a pity party. A pity party is rather ridiculous and I have had many in my life. Some of the parties have guests that I have invited but most are just for me. I'm selfish that way.
You may be asking yourself "Why would she need a pity party?" That is a good question. Many other people in the world are going through far more than I am going through. I have friends and family going through harder things than I am and I admire them for their strength. But I guess sadness, rough times, grieving etc...is all relative.
I think the reason I have not actually had this party is because I am in a far better place than I have been in the past. Many of you do not know that I have had a couple "major depression" episodes in the past several years. It isn't something I have talked much about except to the people close to me, but it isn't a secret either. I don't mean the "I feel depressed" kind of depression. I mean the "who gives a "you know what" kind of depression. The one only the professionals can help you with. Depression is part genetics, part biology as well as gender, age, trauma, grief, health conditions and medications. Depression isn't talked about much even though an estimated 19 million american adults suffer from it. (The purpose of this blog was not intended to be about depression so I will save it for another entry.) But please know if you suffer from depression Do NOT hesitate to get help. As someone said to me "If you had a heart problem you would get help." Depression is no different and it can also be a matter of life and death.
Now to get back on track.....
I found this definition of pity party from the Urban Dictionary:
A way of experiencing grief, in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is.
Pity parties can be just for one or for many people, such as maybe your friends and close people, who will try to comfort you or just be there for you while you keep asking yourself what did you do to deserve whatever it is that made you so sad in the first place.
Pity Parties require the proper outfit, which is usually pajamas cause you dont get all dressed up during those feeling-sorry-for-myself moments. Also you should have no make up on or just the one from the night before; hair undone as well.
It also involves tissues, comfort food such as ice cream; chocolate; potato chips; cookies; cake; and candy. Low fat food is banned
Alcohol might or might not be allowed (if alcohol makes you go wild, no alcohol should be brought to the pity party in that case since the point is not exactly to have fun). The purpose of a Pity Party is to dumpt the pity. Music is also very important at pity parties, including songs like "One is the Loneliest Number", "All by Myself" and any other song that makes you feel like throwing yourself from the nearest cliff.
Pity parties usually end after you are done whining or if someone breaks it up. This will usually be a cynical loved one who will not let you drown in self pity and will take you either to have the best time ever, drinking and partying or will just make you crawl out of bed by making you see how pathetic you look and how you should cut the whining and just do something to make things better.
Well, after reading that how could I throw such a party? I can't. At least not today!:)
Oh wait... you are probably wondering why I wanted to throw the party. Here it is:
singleness, babyless, sad that I have to "buy" my child (that doesn't sound right HA!), student loans (still), a skunk family as house guests, plantar faciitis, my eaglet family is growing up and will soon be leaving the nest for good, I don't have the money to but this fabulous rug I saw at Nebraska Furniture Mart and going through complete inspection of my life in order to adopt a child when all kinds of wrong people are popping out babies like candy. See, I do see the humor in things! :) Oh, and the fact that i am horrible at grammar.
Anyway, I will say once again how truly blessed I really am with my life. It may not turn out as I designed it but since I am not in charge I guess I need to make the best of it!
Happy 4th of July everyone!