I had my first MAPP class tonight. It was an interesting, informational filled evening. Lots of different types of peope are taking the class. Couples, singles, younger, older, black, white, quiet, talkative. Some are looking to adopt, some to foster and some are not yet sure.
I found myself becoming emotional as I sat there and listened and participated. I wasn't really sure where the emotion was coming from or really what I was actually feeling. I think part of my emotion is that I am actually doing this and it weirdly feels so right. I have thought about this for years and never did anything about it. But then one day I just did it and I haven't looked back (yet).
The other part of my emotion is that I still wish I had gotten married and had children biologically. But as a good friend told me "We can't turn back time. We can only move forward." And that is true and I need to stop thinking, "What if?" And hopefully my knight and shining armor will still come and whisk me and my child away!
I know God has a plan. I have not always agreed with His plan for me (if indeed I am actually following it). But I know this one is going to be good! When I talk to people about what I am doing I always talk about my support system. And what a wonderful support system I have! Thank you faithful friends!
So, as I go through this process of being certified through the state and also looking independently for my child I keep praying. (I am sure that was a run-on sentence. I do not claim to be good at that stuff)I also keep hoping and wishing and asking and listening and having faith! God has my child in mind, that I am sure!
Until next time.......
PS: I was looking at baby names the other day. This is just in case I get to have a newborn. :)